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Trans Girls London Marathon Week 3 Training Update

Total Training: 141.6k
This week: 27.8k

An update on my training during week 3.

A completely unrelated photo. Do you like my glasses?

This one is a bit late, this week was extremely difficult regarding my transition. After a 17 month wait I had my first appointment at the Leeds Gender Identity Clinic (GIC) on Tuesday, which ended up being a triage so I can see a Dr and get help. Now I’m in another waiting list to see the Dr… which will take “12 months maybe more”. My GP wont give me a bridging prescription for HRT and I felt very close to cracking. Will write more about this and what I plan to do separately.

My running has reduced this week. I can feel shin splints beginning in my left leg so taking it easy. Because of this I also went to the Withington Physio to get a sports massage on Friday. They are so nice there and despite not seeing me for months they remembered me and correctly gendered me which was awesome. Recommended to any other LGBT people in Didsbury/Withington area

One of my problems is that my flat is cold most of the time so once I get back from a run I find it very hard to do my usual foam rolling and stretching. This has meant that knots are building up and my muscles are getting stiffer. A sports massage is a good way to help with that, loosening up the muscles and getting the blood flow back to help them recover properly.

Week 3 has therefore been mostly cross training at the gym. I went 5 times and run there and back which adds 1k of running every time.
Wednesday I did an hour on the treadmill at the gym with an uphill bit at the end.

I was feeling so lousy and had so little sleep that I missed parkrun on Saturday, which made me feel worse as my running club was doing a parkrun in blue event to raise money for Mind. (Blue Monday)

Sunday I went for a 9k run to celebrate a huge show of solidarity for trans people that spontaneously happened online. After transphobic tweeter Graham Linehan who once wrote Father Ted, petitioned the national lottery to revoke funding for transgender childrens charity Mermaids. A youtuber hbomberguy started a charity stream playing Donkey Kong 64 to completion. He expected to raise around $5,000 however the outpouring of support surprised everyone. In the end raising over $345,000 for Mermaids. The CEO of mermaids joined in at times and talked of how she kept suicide watch over her daughter and why it inspired her to make sure no other parents or children had to suffer in the same way. Later in the stream famous people were coming on to support trans rights including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who won the biggest upset victory in the US 2018 midterm-election. Despite this Graham continues to lie, telling his followers that Mermaids gives untested drugs to children. Mermaids provides support groups, I honestly feel he would prefer trans children to commit suicide rather than get support from Mermaids.

During the stream #ThankyouGraham and #Mermaids trended globally on twitter for unwittingly raising awareness of transphobia and mermaids.
This has been the biggest outpour of pro trans sentiment I have ever seen, it was so promising and I was so close to breaking point from transphobia and lack of anything from NHS.

It also got me to go on a run to celebrate feeling OK for the first time in about 3 weeks. Up until this weekend I haven’t been able to go for 10 minutes without all the horrible transphobia going through my mine, like having an imaginary conversation with a TERF, then catching myself doing it. I wake up at night for a wee and then it happens again, my heart races and I can’t get back to sleep. It has truly been horrible.

So that covers week 3, disappointing from the running standpoint but I will get through. Fitness wise I feel good, the break from running over Christmas has improved me somehow, Its just a shame I seem to be getting injured again. More cross-trainer this week. I also want to make another running video!

Here is the link to my fundraising page please help if you can donate.

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SofieLewis

Love you all XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sofie

London Marathon Week 2: Training Update

Total Training: 113.8k
This week: 39.2k

An update on my training during week 2.

In case you missed it I made a video of one of my training runs last week, check it out :p

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge_vVdMgB1I&t=1s

It was extremely nice to be back with the Didsbury Runners on Monday. It has been 9 weeks since I last made it, due to my injury and being in Skipton/running the Bolton Abbey half. No wonder I missed it so much. I was unsure what group to join but went back into the fast long run group and was glad I did as it felt very manageable. Running there and back as well totalled 15.5k, so a nice long run.

On Tuesday I met a friend in town and say my fist tattoo being done. I also picked up some calligraphy stuff and have been trying that out.

On Wednesday I went on another longish run of 13.2k. This was up-river on a route I used to do a lot. I feel like it has been a long time since I did that route too so it was nice to see all those familiar sights. Speed wise I went a little too fast, but I felt great. I need to slow down a little this week on these long runs as I am feeling it in my legs. At this stage coming back from an injury, slow and steady is the way to go. I have a lot of easy gains as my fitness comes back while pushing too hard only increases my risk of injury.

On Thursday and Friday I ran to the gym and did 1 hour on the cross trainer. I am glad I have that resource to be able to do cardio whilst not pounding my legs. I really want to try and get into cycling for this reason.

On Saturday I was feeling super low, there had been another attack on transgender people by the press. I managed to get out of bed and go to Fletcher Moss parkrun though. This time I wasn’t late. I jogged 2.5k there as a warmup and then went for it. It has been a while since I went for a PB at parkrun but this was one of those times. My watch was just over 21minutes but the official time was 20:59. I am very happy with that as it is a slower course with a hill that you do twice. I was speaking to someone after who said it was about 50 seconds slower for him than South Manchester parkrun so I am nearly on PB shape to get a sub 20 minute 5k. Really feels like the rest and x-mas eating has done me good.

I spoke to people after and then just cried on the way home. When transphobic things like that happen in the press I feel like someone has poured boiling water over me in the city centre, and nobody thinks there is anything wrong with it. It is a traumatic event. It then brings up all the previous times it has happened and just plays around in my mind. I need to start doing mindfulness exercises again as I have lapsed on that front.

I managed to get to Trans Mcr at the LGBT Foundation after parkrun which was helpful and emotional. If transphobic people were witness to the struggles that people go through then they would quickly change their minds. Of course the true phsychopaths would still want to enjoy themselves on twitter or line their pockets by creating a controversy, and as they are cowards there is nothing like punching down. My human rights are not controversial. I did not choose to be trans.

If you don’t know by now, I am raising money for the wonderful LGBT Foundation by running the London Marathon, the training of which I am banging on about here. (See I can be just like Shakespeare) Check out my donation page:

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SofieLewis

Thank you to everyone who has donated I love you!!!!

Yesterday (Sunday) I could feel some pain in my left leg. It isn’t an injury but I need to back down a bit. So I ran to the gym again (0.5k each way) and did an hour on the crosstrainer. The pain is probably because I haven’t been stretching and foam rolling enough. Primarily because my flat is so cold so the first thing I want to do is shower and wrap up. So I will probably skip Didsbury runners today and go to the gym. I then want to get a sports massage this week, just being proactive. You do learn a lot about listening to your body when you start running for me by going through the full process of getting and injury. This time I can tell that shin splints are likely if I don’t loosen my muscles.

So almost 40k in week 2, I will try to hold at 40k for week 3 slowing down a tad on the easy runs. Still no official plan, sorry, but don’t panic. I need to figure out my limits in this human host body (sarcasm). I am not really from out of space you know….

I have my first appointment at the GIC tomorrow so wish me luck, it has been a long wait. I have been coming across doubt’s analyzing them and overcoming them, which has been nice. The hardest parts are really society and my depression.

Muchest of love to you all! XXXX

London Marathon: Training Week 1 (111 days to go)

Total Running: 74.6k
This week: 34.1k

An update on my training during week 1. Had an amazing meeting last week with Virgin Money Lounge and the LGBT foundation and hopefully will have some good news for you. Running has been going well too, nice to be back running the routes in Manchester this weekend, and doing park-runs. Wow this one turned out long!

Injury Update

I am now in training for the London Marathon, to raise money for the LGBT foundation. It has been a tough few weeks before the new year as I had a foot injury which stopped me from running. I am glad to say this seems to have improved a lot now. I did parkrun yesterday and haven’t had any aches where the injury was, so things are looking good for training to begin in earnest. In the meantime last year I joined the gym and did a lot of crosstrainer exercise, spending an hour at a time and using that instead of running. This seems to have paid off, I don’t think I have lost a lot speed wise despite putting over 2kg on over christmas 🙂

Training Plan

So I have to admit, I don’t yet have a training plan…. Mainly because of the injury it is hard to tell how long I had until that was sorted out. So next week I hope to let you all know what the plan is! For my first marathon I chose a plan that did 2 quality long runs per week, this time I am going to tone that down a little and only have one quality long run per week. I was really pushing myself on the last plan and the most important thing this time is to get across the finish line in one piece. If I don’t get an injury and only work up distance I am guaranteed to beat my last time (4:11:11) depending on my transition. Leading me on to…

Transition Update

I have my first appointment with the Gender Identity Clinic coming up in the next few weeks, this is very exciting. I am unsure what will happen as everyone seems to have different experiences. Depending the hormones I go on, it could effect my running speed quite quickly but I think there’s not much point worrying now exactly what will happen at the GIC. I will just go and see. I think it’s insane that it takes almost 2 years before you even get to talk to a professional about this. The support from the LGBT foundation during this time has been invaluable. If you haven’t checked out my donation page yet please consider it and thank you very much to everyone who has donated 🙂

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SofieLewis

Also I now have my passport back and am officially Sofie Enyo Lewis, I also have an F as my gender which is good too and on top of that, I can travel abroad I guess. Although in a few countries I might be illegal, I will have to check that one out but that just makes me somewhat of a badass.

This week I also had my beard lasered again! I am paying to have my hair follicles burned out so I want it to be painful in a way and the pain is easier to handle. Saying all that, its really not so painfull. If you are looking I really suggest looking on groupon, you pay a fraction of the full price.

Weight after Christmas Update

I was at 70.2kg on Friday 04/01, that is about 3-4 kg more than I was last year, I didn’t put all of that on over Christmas though. But I will be losing weight over the next few months, changing my eating habits to something more healthy and getting a calorie deficit going. Nothing as crazy as 2 years ago. But I will keep you updated. I have already lost 1kg of that down to 69.3 on the 06/01, this was probably because I had a salty meal (eating out) and the salt leaves your body over the next 2 days along with a lot of water, I typically experience a 1-2kg up down shift due to this so don’t worry if you notice that yourself.

Parkrun Updates

This week I managed to do 3 parkruns, 2 of which were quite hilly on new years day Tuesday when I did the unthinkable, getting out of bed early and getting the train from Skipton to Bingley to do Myrtle parkrun at 9:00 and then from Bingley to Keighley to do Cliffe Castle at 10:30. It was my first time at either and they are quite new parkruns, last year I would’ve had to travel a lot further from Skipton to do a new years double.

From Bingley train station it isn’t far at all to Myrtle park so of course I almost got lost. Seeing someone in running gear and following them worked like a charm. Waited till close to the start and took my coat off and went. Myrtle park was nice, everyone was lovely. I think it is the shortest route I have done as it was a 4 lapper, I did say thanks to all the marshals every time! There was a policeman there with the marshals which was good to see. Even though it was a four lapper the undulations broke it up well. Afterwords I grabbed my coat and headed for the train station.

I got to Cliffe Castle with about 40 minutes to spare. The last time I ran in this place I was in secondary school someone was throwing rocks at me, one of the few times I ran in my early life. I have to say the park is very nice now I wondered around and looked at the birds and animals, they all looked at me and that carried on for a while… They did all appear to be very well looked after. Everything was well manicured in the park and there was a huge fountain that I don’t recall from before. A lot of the marshals were wearing fancy dress and when they asked if this was anyone’s second parkrun that day a lot of hands went up.

Cliffe Castle parkrun is a 2 and a bit lapper, with the steepest hill I have done in a parkrun. I am ashamed to say I was too tired to say thank you to all the marshals on this one. Finishing Myrtle in 22:12 and Cliffe Castle in 22:22 I was happy.

I also managed Lancaster Parkrun on 29/12/18 but it was a bit of a disaster. This was a also a very hilly one, along with getting there late and starting 600m into the run (which I tried to make up for at the end), I forgot my barcode so didn’t even get it as an official run 😦 Still counts to my training however 🙂 I will have to try it again sometime, I think it is a great course, similar amount of climb to Cliffe Castle but spread of more smaller hills.

That turned out longer than expected, I doubt anyone will make it this far but thankyou for reading and hope you have a lovely week 2! Or happy new year or something! :p Lots of love to you all!!!!!

Happy 2019!! + Advice on getting into running!

Happy new year everyone, 2019 will be my first year as me so looking forwards to it. I know now is a time people make resolutions and I want to put some pointers to what I did with losing weight and running with couch to 5k. I used C25k to start running again and it worked like a charm. I am now training for the London marathon on the 28th April this year to raise money for the LGBT Foundation.

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SofieLewis

I will try and put up a training log every week to let people know what is going on, so hopefully will have one tomorrow. Please read on and ask me any questions if you want to get going with running this year. I know how crazy a task it can seem but I’ve had a few crazy ideas in my life and going from never run to runner was the most accomplish-able ones, even if it seemed impossible. The most important thing at this stage is to get going, it requires action, so go and do it now, slow down till you think you are going too slow and then slow down again and you will be so glad you did it 😀

COUCH to 5K

Couch to 5k (C25K) is a 9 week program from the NHS that gets you from being unable to run to being able to run non-stop for 30 minutes. It takes only 3 runs per week and you will find it is incredible how fast the human body (yours!) can adapt and develop. If you are like I was, and believe you just can’t run then it is for you. Bear in mind that it is called couch to 5k, but it is really couch to running for 30 minutes, whatever distance you get don’t worry about speed.

I avoided sport at all costs at school, I told myself I just could not run. People look at me now and just assume I have always been healthy, even my family who have know me otherwise tend to say “I wish I could do that”, well heres the thing , you can. If I can, anyone can. If you are waiting for the right time, “I just want to lose some weight first”, “I want to wait until I am ready” then start now, you will never “feel ready” especially if you are like me. What is required is action, download the app and put your trainers on. You will kick yourself for not starting sooner.

This isn’t about punishing yourself or proving anything (unless you want it to be) if you try this you are extremely like to find running becomes very enjoyable and find it will become a hobby of yours that you can’t live without. If you like going on walks in nature, you will love running.

At first it will feel hard, you are learning something new, people think running means running at full speed, or running as fast as someone else. This is not true, when you think about going for a run think about it like going for a walk, you hardly ever walk at full speed whenever you go for a walk. If it feels too hard, slow down. When you have slowed down, slow down again! If you feel like you could walk faster, or like you are jogging, that is OK just keep going.

What will happen is, you download the app or podcast, go out for the run, the podcast or app will tell you when to start and stop running. If you get the podcast, then enjoy Laura talking you through each week and enjoy the running. In the first week for example you do the warmup walk, then Laura will tell you to run for one minute, after this she tells you to walk for 1.5 mins and you repeat.

Here are some links to get started,

Explanation of C25K on NHS website

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/get-running-with-couch-to-5k/

The actual C25k program in written form, you can also download as a podcast, or download an app from itunes or google play. This page also outlines the program week by week

http:// https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/couch-to-5k-week-by-week/

A forum for people doing C25K, pleas use this, the people are extremely nice and always encouraging. Sign up and post about your progress to stay motivated. This helped me get through it

https://healthunlocked.com/couchto5k

In my time on the forum I have seen people in their 70’s and 80’s starting couch to 5k and falling in love with running, who had never run a day in their life

Parkrun

Parkrun is awesome, it is a relatively recent thing and is revolutionising how people see running, it is completely non-competitive. It is a free weekly (Saturday at 9:00 in England other times elsewhere) 5k walk/jog/run. You sign up, get a free barcode and get a time. People now travel all over the world to take part in different parkruns and it gets very addictive.

If you want a goal why not try to run a parkrun after graduating C25k, find a parkrun near you, it’s addictive and free! In fact I wouldn’t even wait till you finish c25k, people walk run and jog parkrun, and a volunteer always tail walks so you will never come last so do it even if you walk the whole thing, lots of people do, or do one of the c25k runs at parkrun.
http:// http://www.parkrun.org.uk/events/events/

The hardest thing about running is getting your trainers on and going out of the door, that is still true for me. Even after hours fretting about wheather to go out or not, I have never once regretted going for a run, there will never be a time when it “feels right” to start C25K, so just go for it. Do it as an experiment. Slow down and enjoy it. It’s the best thing I ever did. Don’t let another year go around without trying it.

I am going to try and put a post up each week about my training for the London Marathon, I am running for the LGBT foundation and you can find the donation page here

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SofieLewis

London Marathon Update #1: 600meters

Hello everyone!

In a complete surprise, I recently got into the London Marathon, I still can’t believe it. I will be running to raise money for the LGBT foundation, please consider donating on my virginmoney giving page:

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SofieLewis

It has been a huge blessing as it is something constructive to work on, and also to use all the negative energy I get for being trans in a positive way. It is also a huge honour to run for the LGBT foundation.

All the times I go on twitter, all the times I walk down the street and people look at me and then down with a look of disgust on their face, as if to say, “I am not impressed, look at what you are wearing” all the times people whisper to their partner when they see me coming and I hear them laughing at me as I walk past, all the crap on the news… Fuel for the fire!!!!!

Post crosstrainer world record earlier in week :p

I keep saying it is a surprise and it really is. To show how popular the London Marathon has become, this year 21 members of Didsbury Runners, including myself, entered the ballot. Out of 21 of us, 0 got in, nought, zero!

So how did this happen? I attend events at the LGBT foundation for transgender and nonbinary and questioning people, it has helped a lot even before I had come out, and it helps a lot now to meet people and be somewhere with people who understand, to get advice and friendship. People who know me know I don’t leave the house under any circumstances, unless its a run, and I will get my shopping on the way back from a run if I am particularly low. So the fact I go to these events shows they are useful. At the end of October I was very down, due to all the transphobic media around trans people and the GRA consultation, by the way, the media never let up since then unfortunately. I read an article published by the LGBT foundation, called the harm of trans misrepresentation.

https://lgbt.foundation/news/the-harm-of-trans-misrepresentation/237

I was so happy that somebody somewhere was on our side. I was feeling annoyed, depressed and powerless at the time and wanted to help in any way I could so I wrote an email to the LGBT foundation to ask if they had any charity places. I expected not and indeed they had all been assigned.

But a few weeks later I got an email saying that Virgin Money Manchester Lounge had organised extra places for the LGBT foundation, and would I still like to run for them? It can take me years to send an email or reply to text messages but it didn’t take long for this one.

I have also been contacted by Virgin Money Manchester Lounge and they are going to help me with fund raising in the new year.

It is all good news, I thank you everyone who has already donated and please donate if you can, the LGBT foundation are kick ass!!!!

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SofieLewis

I am thinking of things to do, should I do training runs in a costume to help raise money? I will look for a unicorn running outfit 😀

I am still doing crosstrainer world records at the gym, it turns out that I may indeed have broken one of the machines, as it has no resistance any more, hence why I could so 1470 calories. But yesterday I was on it, burning up a lot of hate from the streets and the internet, kicking ass, and doing it for the LGBT foundation and managed to get 1396 calories in 60 minutes, so I am tantalisingly close to getting 1400. It was extremely hard! I am running it on max resistance and If you really step on the gas you can add about 1 to 1.5 cal per minute, so something in me is getting fitter since I have gone from 20 cal/min average to 23.3 cal/min average for 1 hour.

Was on 1396 cal at the 60 min mark, so close… I am dying at this point

As for running………

My foot is feeling a lot better! It is still sore at times but after doing the crosstrainer world record, I did a run!!! My first one in 4 weeks and 2 days. It was only for 600m, I did it carefully on the treadmill and my foot held up. Everything feels unusual but it wont take long to get back in the rhythm. My Strava training log is very bare looking 😦 it barely even registers as a blob! I have been doing a lot of crosstrainer world records in the mean time!

If you had told me I wouldnt run for 5 weeks after the bolton abbey half I wouldnt have believed you, I felt fine. Also wouldnt believe I’d be in the London Marathon.

Because I only found out about the London Marathon whilst injured, All my runs this side of the injury will count as training. So my total mileage is currently 600m, many more to come but slow and steady.

I will keep you all updated regarding mileage, hope to get a nice total before the race. The key I have realised is not to get injured before the marathon!! :p

I have had other nice things happen which I hope to share soon.

Lots of love, thankyou all!!!!

Sofie Xx

Sleep Paralysis -Wolf

Rarely, I get something called sleep paralysis. It’s where you wake up but your motor functions are still disabled. So you cant move. But you are still in a way dreaming, so your brain adds things to what you can see, like audio and visual hallucinations.

It happens to me when I sleep on my back, which is something I don’t/can’t usually do, but sometimes I must roll over in the night and I wake up like that on my back.

Tonight I woke up on my back and I heard a loud low growl from the floor at the bottom of my bed. I was stuck on my back for quite a long time and whenever I try to move I hear it again. I think this was the longest and scariest sleep paralysis of mine. I can’t see anything over my covers. I struggle using 100% of my willpower to raise just one hand, pushing the covers up to see but it only feels like I raise it an inch. “GRRRRRRRRR”. I then hear it padding around the side of the bed, towards me, growling. I can see the top of its back not above the covers. It’s a wolf. I knew it was a wolf as soon as I woke up. It goes back down the room where it came, and I continue struggling. Then in the corner of the room I see it walking up the wall, like some kind of vampire wolf, it stands on the ceiling and looks at me. “GRRRRRRRRRR”. It leaps at me, but goes over the bed right over me. Some point after this I get control back. I manage to sit up but its a real struggle, I am still quite weak. I see nothing there, turn on my side and go back to sleep.

During these events I am aware/hopeful that it is sleep paralysis. It is scary though, but the only way out of it is usually to go back to sleep. I think during the first few minutes I was in and out of sleep, but it is hard to tell obviously. It is usually just an audio hallucination for me and rarely I see things as well. Usually just hearing someone talking in my room.

It is suspected that sleep paralysis is responsible for many alien abduction stories. It would convince someone it had really happened if they hadn’t heard of it before. It happens in different ways to people but it seems to be quite suggestible, for example, many years ago people would dream of the “old nag” an old lady sitting on your chest. A lot of people find it hard to breathe due to the paralysis, however I never notice that. Then a lot of people reported greys standing around them. For me it has been more random. This was the first time for me it has been a wolf who visited. I have had Jose before talking about football, that was an audio only one! Today a lot of my muscles and my neck are quite sore, I probably ended up in an awkward position.

Makeover, Crosstrainer “World* Record #2″**, passport photos and how the media wants to kill me

As womens hour continued to pour poison into public discourse around transgender people this morning. I went into town for a makeover. Unsurprisingly to people who know me I know absolutely nothing about putting makeup on, so yesterday with Mum and Pauline, I booked for a session at Debinghams in Picadilly gardens.

They could tell I was a bit stressed and asked if I was OK, I had been up till 5:30 AM upset about what I had heard on Womens Hour yesterday. They were extremely kind and said not to take any notice of it. I got a lesson in how to do makeup and a free makeover which was extremely helpful, I feel like I know enough to start learning more on youtube e.t.c. now. They even got together and put a list of the staffs favourite youtube channels together for me.

I took advantage of it and also got my passport photos re done in one of those booths they still fortunately have at post offices. I look a heck of a lot better, or at least feel better about the photo, even though I may still be a radical and dangerous gender ideology. A threat to some minorities very existance! Even despite the fact they really don’t think so. Keep your children away, and today people have been told I want to cheat at sport, which must be true, just don’t look at any of the scientific studies various sporting bodies have used to allow or deny transgender athletes to participate. OK I am getting side-tracked, I haven’t listened to today’s vitriol, probably best not to lest I end up a made up statistic constructed to silence all the screaming crowds on the media.

SOOOOOOO…. haha, it has been almost a week since I used the GYM, I had to take 2 days off for DOMS, then my injury got quite bad over the weekend, and I had no time yesterday. So got back on the crosstrainer today. This was the dodgy crosstrainer from last time that turned off (the one nearest entrance, for those who know). Short story long, there’s only 2 and someone was on the other so I had to use it again. It felt very easy today. I managed to smash my previous record of 1,354 cal in 60 minutes, getting 1’460 today. It could be possible, I was increasing at over 100 cal per week and this is week 2 and a bit, I was well rested and had peak mental fuel to take out on it, even if I had no sleep. But I definitely want to check on the other machine next time. I will let you know. Putting questions of my own over this one!

By the way, if you are comparing calories burned to this then be careful, on other machines I can do about 900 as a PB for example. The calories burned are individual to each model and make, I do feel I get a good burn on this machine but it makes no sense to compare these values between makes and models. Manufacturers will try and sell more machines by saying it burns more calories, it doesn’t actually mean anything, so don’t move from your bike or rowing machine or whatever other crosstrainer to this to burn more, you might not be in the end. I like it as a way of comparing when you are on the same model though. Lets you track progress.

I have something I am really excited about to tell everyone, I have taken too long already and will try tomorrow, there are some things I want to get ready beforehand.

By the way, It is really telling that so many people are accepting of transgender people. Even despite the media barrage. I will keep bringing it up though because it genuinely upsets me, and I talk about my mental health issues. I think it is important for people to know what is going on with this attack too, otherwise people thing everything is OK and nothing needs to change, there is so much further to go, even if you don’t need to change. I hope that makes sense. Try and replace the word “transgender” with any other minority, disability or religion or majority and you will see why it is personally upsetting and why it is fuelling hatred. Try it in this question the host of womens hour asked, (I am going off memory) “do you think transgender people are a threat to the existence of lesbians”. Or what the transphobic guest told everyone in the debate “Transgender women are forcing lesbians to sleep with them”. How would you feel if on radio 4 people were suggesting you personally were a threat to lesbians, or you were a rapist because of your gender identity, or any other attribute? I have to live in the atmosphere they create. I know someone who lost her family, and job and became homeless as a result of coming out, and due to the abuse she is getting is considering de-transitioning. Consider the rate amongst transgender people attempting suicide at almost 50%. We are humans just like everyone else and when I get pushed into thinking about suicide I can believe they have blood on their hands. They have a responsibility for what they are saying. But it gets an audience.

Much love to everyone

P.S.

I REALLLY TRIED NOT TO RANT THERE!!!!!!!! 😀 I am staying positive, I chose me middle name well and am relying on that. Look forwards to getting new Passport soon and then driving license.

Was thinking of putting a photo up but guess I am shy! 🙂

Also I am not intending to attack anyone or group of people with this. The people doing bad things are the people doing bad things. Let me know what you think.

Injury

You can see from my running log that something is going on… I have got exciting running news, but wanted to write about this first. The last red blob was the Bolton Abbey half. On the Wednesday after I was on a slow recovery run and a pain in my right foot built up about half way through, I had to limp home in the cold.

It had swollen up and I found it hard to walk. After a weeks rest to get better I saw the GP thinking maybe something was broken and I had a few other things to talk about.

Anyway, I got an x-ray and they didn’t think it was a fracture. It could be but the type of fracture might not show up this early. Given an examination though they reckoned it was not a break.

I got compensation straight away, as I really enjoyed marshalling with someone at the new Fletcher Moss Parkrun. By the way, there is now a Parkrun at Fletcher Moss!

To try not going more mad that usual I have joined the gym, and manage to use the cross-trainer without effecting the foot too much. I have been enjoying that but worried I am now too good for the machine, I was going for a PB on Wednesday and the machine just turned off, I lost all the progress. I did another few minutes at the same level and it turned off again… I guess that is quite cool and if true gives me some bragging rights. But would prefer it to work 🙂 Maybe I need to move onto the bike but I always find that really boring and un-motivating in the gym. It has been hard not being able to walk either, as a walk with an audiobook helps just getting out of the flat.

Also thanks to my friend Sam who gave me a pair of crutches, which really come in handy! I seem to get to a point where I can walk fine, like yesterday, but then pay for it when I get back.

I also got lucky in the fact that the World Chess Championship was on as I was injured.

I haven’t been too good mentally the last few weeks but it hasn’t been because of the injury, I know I’ve let a few people down.. Overall I have managed this injury much better than before. It hasn’t got to me as bad. As the injury drags on I am getting more worried but nothing too bad. One trick was joining the gym sooner, a lesson I learned from my previous injuries when I always wished I had done it quicker. I think having the 3 HM’s 1 month apart was quite stressful for me so a rest physically and mentally from running should be a good thing, especially when I tell you what I am doing next!

Love you all!!!

The Bolton Abbey Half

Again a really fun race this year. I met a member of Didsbury runners who recently moved to Skipton and with Mum and Dad went up to Bolton Abbey pavilion for the start. The organisers made a lot of improvements this year, although the main road to the event was closed there were no queues of cars to get in.

The event had more going before the start too with hot food and drinks available and also bumped into the Physiotherapists Mark and Katy (Paragon physiotherapty and KT Fitness) http://paragonphysiotherapy.com/running-tips-physiotherapy who helped me to run correctly this time last year. We talked about things and I told them I had changed my name to Sofie and they were really happy for me. It was super nice to see them.

It was actually this event that led me to seeing them in the first place, I got lucky this time last year. My knee had swollen and I noticed 2 days before the race that it was making clicking sounds. Queue searching for a physio in Skipton who could see me short notice, initially to advise on weather to run it or not, and when I saw they did the run-right training I signed up to that too. Seeing I only started running at the beginning of 2017, I guess that means I have now been running for longer with good form than I have with bad form . I intend to make a separate post about this.

Thankfully it was quite mild compared to last year, into the starting pen, and after 2 minutes silence for Armistace we were off. The course had been altered compared to last year and this time the HM ran from the pavillion to the stepping stones, over the bridge and back. It was quite fun actually as the path drops off on the river side and makes you feel like you are going super fast like a rally driver.

We then get back to the pavilion and the real hills start, I think there’s almost 700m of climb on this course. Mainly from one hill but you run up it 2 different ways… its beautiful

Another improvement this year is where organisers have put gates into the dry stone wall, where last year there were 15 minute queues at styles. This was on a very steep descent.

I was soo hoping I would be Sofie on the racing bib but the curse struck again. I was in for a real chance as I had contacted the race director when she asked if anyone wanted to change their name but it mustn’t have gone through. By the way the race director was great if any other trans runners decided to go.

The half marathon route joins back up with the 10k and 10 mile routes at various points where it can be an issue to overtake, so there were points where I am running through heather bushes to get past people, but this just adds to the course.

We cross poo bridge at the bottom of the descent and run back to the pavilion through strid wood. It is so nice running through a place I have only ever walked through with my grandparents before, and being proud of walking the red routes, now I am running them.

Out of strid wood and back to the pavilion.

This is the point where the 10mile and 10k race finish, and the HM goes back up the massive hill from the start, although on a different more scenic route. I remember having the same experience as last year, almost out of body. It is so quiet and I felt something powerful up there.

At this point I was concerned my legs were going to tire too much on the uphills and I would have to walk, but I made it in the end. Would definitely have benefited from more hill training and more long runs, but I have been relaxed since the great north run and am really happy with how it went at this race. Last year with style queues (read: jumping over dry stone walls) and getting stuck behind a 4×4 at the finish, I ran it in 1:58:06 and came 44th. This year I managed to do it in 1:52:39. I would say the course was a little harder but not by much. I am extremely happy with my position, 16th, next time I need to start nearer the front! Looking at the results on strava later taught me something, next time I am going to go for a mile PB on that last downhill, I thought I was going fast but go FASTER!!! Something fun to look forwards to next time.